"What Now?"



In my work as a University Lecturer I am in daily contact with young folk who are in that particular space that is the undergraduate experience, with all of its attendant challenges and joys.

One of the particular questions that hopefully gets asked in a serious kind of way during this time is something like: "What do I want to be when I grow up? " and its a very very good question to be asking of oneself at such a time.

In truth, I still ask it now and then myself, and find that the answers I have been coming to since I can remember asking the question as a much younger me still stand.  And like most people, I have had many occasions that bring this seemingly trite question right to the front of life - in all its glaring terror.

These times come, ask for them or not.

"Which school?"  "Which major?"  "Which person?" "What about money?" or just the straight up root of all these:  "What Now?"

What Now indeed!

It can feel to us that once certain things are set, then the rest of life will more or less flow along in the clear direction we choose.  Perhaps it will, but likely it won't.

So many of the particular questions like "which school" will fade in time, but the heart question of "what now" will always be around one way or another.  You finally pick the school, but then lets say you graduate, so what now?  You pick the person, but they develop a catastrophic illness, so what now?  You achieve your wildest dreams and manifest them effortlessly, so what now?

So often, we relate to this question as though it were an enemy to be killed or at least fended off and guarded from, but really this "what now" question can become as a constant friend in the sea of change that we live immersed in and in truth are.  I like the 'what now' question very much.  It has been a good companion of mine since ageless time it seems.

From one side, in each moment, we are exactly in the right place and there is no need to do or get or fix anything.  And yet from the other there is always the live blade edge experience of "what now."

And it's not like the one side is any truer than the other.

So perhaps in addition to working as best we can to figure out the answers we may be served by learning to get just get cozy with the question, to be at home in the not knowing that is the bright and luminous spark of our mind filled with attention and intention and inquiry and rest.

"But then what" you ask?

Yes, Yes, Very good.

 But it's not 'then what?'

It's always WHAT NOW!




Comments

  1. What now? I would say capitalism is a large part of the zen institution, and it needs to stop. Our monastery charges $7 a day per person for staying here. The monks live below the poverty line, and we take no money for teaching. Institutional zen is imitating the christian clergy model of a church that supports the pastors and is too involved with charging money for the Dharma. What a shame.
    What now?

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